Daggers
by Oirowin
Summary: He let his eyes close on the thought simple tears fell from those eyes, those narrow eyes. How could he have been so blind. Sequel to Venom.
1. One

Daggers

Severus Snape could feel his tears sting his cheeks, his jet black hair fell in front of his eyes as the young boy's screams faded into the night. They were replaced with a chilling laugh that was echoed by the shadows that held the circle. He tried to pull himself together, showing weakness in front of the social darwinist clan was screaming to be killed.

He teetered on one knee when he felt the Lord's gaze fall to his tattered body. The sting he felt was alien to his skin; the prickle that ran up his spine was surely not a good sign.

"And then there was one…" the snake-like voice of Voldemort said.

Snape forced his head to look at the venomous snake that stood before him, hate created loathing and loathing surfaced as rage. He let all his weight fall to his knee and shoved himself up.

"No need to get up, Severus," Voldemort said. "You'll just be falling again."

Snape realized the fury he felt was just what his _former_ master wanted. He knew his anger would lead him to do something stupid, no matter how hard he fought it. He couldn't afford that mistake.

"You have nothing left to live for," Voldemort said, stepping to the side, revealing Harry's broken body. "Do you?"

Snape's stomach lurched at the sight of the crumbled student he was sent to protect, the shattered boy another victim of the world's enemy. He kept the creeping tears behind the walls of his eyes and looked to Lord Voldemort once again. The pain he felt was burnt away by the flames of hatred.

"What are you going to do Severus? Go back to Dumbledore?" he sneered. "You let the wizarding world's hero _die_…"

"I would never give you the pleasure asking for my death," Snape retorted. "I'll make you fight for it."

Voldemort simply smiled at the heroic move made by his disloyal servant.

"At least you've come to terms with your death."

Severus returned the smile.

"Accio wand!" he yelled, extending his wand hand out to his side. The wood snapped into his hand, his eyes never left his enemy's. Before Voldemort or any of the Death Eaters could think of a spell, Snape was gone.

Snape landed in a field just outside of Hogwarts Castle. He fell to his knees and released every tear in his body, a scream echoed in the silent night. He looked at his hands as foreign bodies, shaking in his lap. He forced them into fists as the icy tears became flames of anger once again. Thoughts of his promise to Dumbledore stabbed at his heart. No matter how much he looked at Harry as James' son, he never wished death upon either of them. The silence suffocated him in loneliness. He let his hands cover his face, the tears creating pools in his palms.

Light fell onto his sorrow creased face; the morning sun peaked around the thick clouds that marred the sky. Severus rubbed his eyes, void of tears, before opening them. He stared into the sun for an exaggerated eternity before rolling away from the light. He looked at his hands again, the creases deeper than ever before, his fingers still wobbly early in the morning. His mind, blank from waking, began filling with everything he wished to forget. Harry's screams echoed within the great expanse of his psyche, green light covered his eyes. Severus gripped his ears, trying desperately to block out the agony of the cries. They stopped and the green light subsided, laughs filled the silence. A tear leaked out of the corner of Snape's eye. _Not this early in the morning…damn it._

Severus rose to sitting and pressed the base of his palms into his burning eyes, willing them to stay dry. Looking at his surroundings for the first time, he realized he was in the Hospital Wing.

"It's good to see you awake Severus," a warm, familiar voice said.

He turned to face Albus Dumbledore.

"Were you worried?"

He nodded slowly, his glistening blue eyes faded. "We all were," he began. "I found you just outside the grounds covered in blood and tears. You couldn't form a sentence, you were delirious."

Snape's eyes diverted to the floor in mid-story, the memory of his return flashing back in small snippets.

"I-I don't know what happened…" he began.

"Severus, there is nothing we can do," Dumbledore cut in. "I realize it will not be easy for any of us to let go of the events past, but we would do well to try."

"It's not that easy," he said. "I watched them _kill_ him! I watched Voldemort _torture_ him! And I did nothing!" he raged, rising to his feet.

"Severus…"

"No, there is nothing you can say or do to make what I endured disappear!"

"That's not what I'm trying to do, we all know the feelings –"

"No, no, you know nothing of what I feel…" he hissed.

Dumbledore watched Snape brush past him and out of the Infirmary, the doors shutting gently when he was gone.

Snape barely saw the frightened looks he received from the usually sombre students. He made it to his potions lab in record time and locked the door with a quick 'Colloportus'.

He stormed up the middle aisle and threw himself into his chair, hands tense on his desk. He stared into the room; tiny pricks of sunlight fell through the closed curtains. His breath was heavy from storming though the school and his legs felt tense from the multiple stairs he climbed and descended.

With a sigh, he spun his chair around to face the wall behind him. It was covered with shelves containing the mysterious vials of a Potions Master. His eyes bounced from one Sleeping Potion to another Shrinking Solution to a Fix-All-Potion-Remover he was given by a student. A scowl still formed across his lips and he bent at the waist and opened a cupboard. Behind the Dragon's scales and Werewolf hair was a large stash of nerve numbing, pain releasing alcohol. Snape didn't hesitate to grab a bottle in each hand and pull them free from the layer of dust they had collected during his mission.

Uncorking one with his teeth, Severus let the sharp, clear liquid slosh down his throat, barely enjoying the high quality liquor. His desperation to forget the pain he had caused himself led him through three more translucent bottles of vodka. The last sip fell onto his lips before the glass slipped from his hand. He watched the glass shatter just left of his foot and responded with a hiccup.

Facing his desk, he propped himself up on his elbows, his hands just below his chin. His eyes lazily gazed at his private lab and floated to the door. They found their way back to the desk in front of him. Releasing his pinkie from under his chin, it found his lower lip. Becoming very fascinated with the _plip_ingsound it made, he moved to his index finger, another hiccup escaped his entertaining lips. His eyes continued their journey around the very familiar room; they only stopped when a deep knock came from the door. Snape stopped playing with his lip as the room went silent. Another _boom_ echoed through his lab. His head slid to his chest as he scratched at his temple. He rolled his head as a third knock graced his ears.

"I'm coming," he slurred, teetering when he rose to his feet.

He stumbled through the center aisle of potions equipment and waiting cauldrons. Falling into the door he released the Colloportus charm and opened the door.

"What the _fuck_ do you want," he spit at the person standing on the other side.

Note: Social Darwinists believe in survival of the fittest.


	2. Two

**Chapter II **

"Are you…drunk?" a sharp-tongued blonde said from the other side on the barrier.

Snape pulled him into the room by just the scruff of his robe, plain black and clean. He shoved him to the floor and slammed the heavy door shut.

"Let me repeat myself," Snape said, trying to control the alcohol. "What the _fuck_ do you want?"

His former student rose from the ground, bushing himself off.

"I'm here, to bring you back." His eyes flicked to Snape's. "So He can finish what he started."

"He _obviously_ put too much trust in you again…" Snape muddled.

"You're dunk," Draco Malfoy stated. "And I'm stronger than you to begin with."

"Is that a threat?"

"If that's what you make of it," Malfoy said, cracking his knuckles.

Snape scowled at the Slytherin. Taunting him to loose his temper was the one way the boy could win. Even with the vodka swimming through his veins, Snape consciously swallowed every nasty comment he thought of. He instead went for the punch.

Severus felt his knuckles crush into Malfoy's skin. He swung through and watched the blond stumble backwards, holding his cheek.

"Bastard," he mumbled.

Malfoy came back with an equally crushing punch that only grazed the side of Snape's face. The Potions Master grabbed his fist with surprising ease and compressed the young boys hand until his bones rubbed together. Malfoy's face went from smug to fear in the matter of seconds. His knees began to crumble under the pressure of Snape's grip. The teacher easily shoved Draco to the floor, his dark shadow surrounded him.

"Why don't you try that again?" Snape garbled. The sight of blood on the Slytherin's cheek created pleasure he did not expect, he was sobering up quickly.

"Is that all you got?" he asked, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

Draco wobbled to his feet, massaging his hand. "I was just warming up," he spit. The blonde shoved Snape backwards with another swing at him, not sober enough, he tumbled to the floor. Malfoy bent to pull him to his knees but was surprised by a ferocious kick in his gut. He keeled over on top of Severus who shoved him off almost instantly.

"Stronger then me eh?"

Malfoy rolled on his back, clutching his battered stomach. Snape went through with what Draco had planned. The teacher grabbed the front of the Slytherin's robes and pulled his face within two inches of his own.

"I hope Voldemort punishes you with nothing less than the Cruciatus curse," he whispered.

The venom narrowed in Malfoy's stone grey eyes before he released a spit. Snape never hesitated to throw his body away before wiping at his face. Draco hit the wall with a large crunch; he slowly slid to the ground.

"Oh no…" Snape began, swooping over to the crumbled boy. "I'm not finished."

He pulled the blonde up by his robes once again, shoving his tattered body against the hard wall. Draco instinctively pulled his hands in front of his face for protection, the arm of his robe slid to his elbow. Snape loosened his grip at what was revealed, marring the milky white skin of his former student.

"Your father must be proud," he hissed, scowling at the mark.

Draco slowly lowered his hands as Snape slowly removed each finger from his robe.

"Get the hell out of my sight," he demanded; his voice barely above a hoarse whisper.

Draco's lips formed into a tight sneer as he slipped from under the half-drunk teacher. "I'll see you soon Severus."

Snape listened as the heavy door opened and shut again, he exhaled a large sigh filled with sadness and relief.

He stumbled back up the aisle and into his chair. His hands shook on his desk, not from fear but from the deadly mix of anger and alcohol. The Dark Mark illuminated in his mind, it's darkness a vivid contrast to Draco's skin, poisoned forever. _He could have been so much more, damn it. _He slammed one shaking fist onto the hard surface, releasing a much bottled wave of hatred.

A flicker of light caught Snape's eyes, it's golden light faded to a faint silver. He followed the dull beam to an ajar cabinet; a slivery reflector peaked out of the crack. Every memory swirling in his pensive rushed back to him.

Snape hadn't looked into his pensive since he tried to teach Harry Occlumency, that memory alone now painful. His feet took him to the bowl unwillingly and his neck freely bent to look into the twirling sliver liquid. His breath caught in his throat when he caught a far distant memory, one he had almost forgotten, instantly he was tipped into the bowl, into the memory.

Severus Snape grew up alone. Since he was young enough to remember, his memories were filled with solitude and self entertainment. He was an only child, his parents cold and distant. They showered him with gifts absent of love and caring, they sent in the house elf to tuck him in. They sent him to Hogwarts to learn magic.

Hogwarts became the one release he had, the one place where he was not completely different, not totally exiled. He found himself in Slytherin House, surrounded by people he grew up with, the people his parents wanted him to know. He could name everyone; Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini, Bulstrode…

They were never his true friends, only distant acquaintances. The only friend he ever had was a Gryffindor. His only friend was supposed to be his greatest enemy. Yet, she was the only one to ever look his way, ever glance at him, with compassion. Her flaming red hair always fell in front of her piercing green eyes, she liked to wink. Her smile would always melt him, even on the worst of days.

Snape walked out of the common room and into the familiar hallway leading away from the dungeons. He let his cloak sweep out behind him as he headed for the Great Hall. His classmates were just filing in for dinner; the Gryffindor table was almost full. He stood in the shadows behind the great doors and spotted Lily almost instantly. Her red hair glowed beyond everything else in the room. She turned to a friend, and Severus got a small flicker of her perfect skin and flaming eyes. The group she was talking with shared a laugh, her smile out shinned all the rest. He sighed, remembering this moment like it was only yesterday; he knew what was coming.

No sooner did his schoolboy image enter the Hall directly across from where he was standing. He ran his fingers through his own hair in synchronizing motion with the boy across from him. Then the laughter began. Not pleasant, small talk laughter. Harsh, painful snickering. Severus felt his heart sink, watching his young torture. A tall raven haired boy with glasses stood up and confronted a stumbling schoolboy Snape. Though Severus couldn't hear the words spoken, he whispered them under his breath in sync with James Potter.

"She's taken."

Schoolboy Snape gritted his teeth and shrugged James' arm from his shoulder. He glared at the table before sulking back to his own. The laughter of the Gryffindor's sliced his back, his usually emotionless eyes contained fire. Snape could barely control his own anger, his hands formed fists. One step in the direction of Potter sent the contents swirling. He found himself back in his lab, hands still in fists.

He slammed the cabinet door closed and pounded a fist against it. His head slowly came to rest against the solid door and tears, again, filled his eyes. Between the fight and pensive travel, most of the vodka had left his system and his head began to throb.

At that moment, when the first sound of his heart echoed in his head, he realized everything. His motive for everything he had ever done to Harry rested on that one memory. He couldn't look past the fact that Lily died and Harry didn't. He couldn't see the difference between James and Harry. In his narrow eyes they were two reasons why Lily wasn't here with him today. But most of all, he realized how much he truly loved Lily.

He let his eyes close on the thought; simple tears fell from those eyes, those narrow eyes. How could he have been so blind.


	3. Three

**Chapter III **

Days past as Snape brooded about his lab. He hadn't left for three straight, sustaining himself on only cheep wine and high price vodka. The thought of concocting a potion to ease his pain was nothing more than a thought. Every memory that filled his mind was of her, her flaming red hair, her piercing green eyes, her clear smile. Snape slammed a fist onto his desk causing the multiple vials to twitch and clang.

"Damn it," he sighed.

He let his eyes close as his thoughts engulfed him; again Lily Evans graced every snapshot of time. A low rumble and an echoing of clatter brought the Potions Master back to life. Another rumble sent his stomach into convulsions. The shaking continued, however, until an empty vodka bottle crashed to the floor and a potion vial attempted to shatter; he caught it just in time. The tremors were blinded by pure pain that shot up Severus' arm. He held the wretched tattoo against his stomach in hopes of dulling the deathly sensation. His attempts were futile as the pain only grew until he could do nothing but scream.

He fell to his knees and clutched the poisoned arm closer, tears emitting from his pinched eyes. In one final peak, the pain dulled to nothing more than a tingle. Snape let out a long held breath and collapsed. Short raspy breaths slowly transformed back into full inhalations. His mind was falling blank once again until…

Two deep knocks claimed Snape's attention. A fear crept deep into his stomach, one he had only felt once in his life. A third knock caused his hand to retreat to his robes, his wand appearing in it. As he moved closer to the blockade between the knocker and himself, Snape felt his fear strengthen; his stomach tightening. His hand shook as it fell to the doorknob.

Another knock echoed in the dead silence, it's sound scared Severus even deeper. Despite all signs pointing away from the door, Snape turned the handle and pulled. His eyes slowly wandered up the man standing in front of him, every inch of robe revealed brought one more reason to close the door. He never reached the man's face before he spoke.

"Good evening, Severus."

He sneered at the man standing before him, he didn't know why he did, Dumbledore had never done anything but help him. Right now, however, was not a great time to see Mr. Compromise.

"If you're here to make sure I'm still alive, I'm pleased to tell you I am," Snape spat. "However, I'll have to ask you to leave as my _humble_ lab is not up for entertaining guests."

"Severus," Dumbledore retorted. "I know how much you want to stay here, cooped up forever."

Snape looked away from the white elder.

"But you cannot hide from your fears," he continued.

"I don't want your pity, old man," he said, turning his back to the senior.

"Never turn your back on your enemy, Severus."

Snape's breath caught in his throat and his heart jolted to a halt as the hiss of a killer swept over his ears. Forcing himself to breathe, he gripped his wand tighter as he faced his greatest fear.

There standing before him, in the one place he believed He could never penetrate, in the only place he knew he was safe, was Lord Voldemort. The safety of Dumbledore was no where to be found.

"W-Wh-"

"Where is he?" Voldemort finished for the shaking servant.

A sneer passed over his lips before he continued.

"The only one I ever _feared_…is dead."

Snape's throat began to constrict as if an invisible hand was slowly grasping it. He backed away from the devil, the evil of the world, grasping his contracting air supply. Voldemort laughed as Severus began to cough and choke on the idea of his leader's death. That laughter echoed deep in Snape's mind, he gripped his ears desperately trying to wake up from this nightmare.

"I'm not leaving until every last inch of you," Voldemort hissed. "Is broken."

Snape diverted his eyes away from the vile creature that stood before him, his back finally reached a wall.

"Now I truly have to ask," Voldemort said, stepping over the threshold. "What do you have to live for now?"

A darkness filled the room, it suffocated Severus, it blinded all light, all hope, it left all life empty. Voldemort's snake-like face contorted into gruesome rage, his wand outstretched before him.

"Tell me, slave!" His voice echoed. "What, now, do you have to live for!"

Snape realized he was going to die, shrivelled in the corner, hoping for a lifeline, hoping for Dumbledore. He couldn't die like that.

"I am living, so that you can not rule," he stated, clear and proud.

"You believe that your existence is the reason I am not Supreme Lord?" Voldemort laughed. "My, my, what has little Dumbledore has placed into your head?"

"Strength and power."

"And stupidity!"

"He will always be stronger than you, always have more power than you!"

"But he is dead, Severus!"

"He will never die!"

Voldemort's face twisted into hatred beyond any human emotion as his wand appeared in front of him. Severus looked straight at his assassin and smiled


End file.
